It is our new corporate strategy to obtain patents for everything we do. I have been assigned to the Intellectual Property Task Force and now have the pleasure to read through various patent applications, all of them written in readily understandable plain English.

Apparently someone (Fujitsu Software) already holds a patent for a graphic user interface ... comprising a virtual vendroid object further comprising ... a plurality of virtual objects for sale.

Games (computer or traditional) can also be patented. Gladiator game and method of play: Shuffle Monster Cards 50 and Treasure Cards 54, placing them to one side of game environment 2. Decide on a banker to perform the banking duties. ... The Bank is owned by Ogmok ...

There is a drug abuse prevention computer game patent, stating what every role-player already knows: Hit points are a measure of what it takes to kill a Character. When a Character reaches a HIT POINTS value equal to -(BODY*2), they are irrevocably dead. A player-character begins with a HIT POINTS value of [BODY*5].

And Sony's AIBO is in reality a patented electronic pet system, network system, robot, and storage medium.

Compare all this to the beautiful simplicity of US patent number 1 (click on Images).